Once upon a time, some fine musicians came together and wrote a song. You might have heard of them. One was named David Bowie, and the other lot were collectively known as ‘Queen’.
They did a little unique song called ‘Under Pressure’.
This post is not about that song.
It is about the theme it touches on though – pressure.
First of all, this is going to be a short post because I basically have nothing important to talk about this week, and the internet is already too full of meaningless drivel without me adding to it. Not to say that my usual ruminations are anything special or world-changing, but at least I always mean what I say when I post and am genuine with it as best I can be.
One of the biggest things I have struggled with in my life is personal pressure. The feeling I should be doing something, or doing what I am doing better or just more of it, to the point I can immobilize myself sometimes from the strain of trying to meet my own expectations, and failing (naturally.)
Today is a good example. I have known all day I was ‘supposed’ to put up a post today, despite having nothing major to talk about. I spent the whole week arguing with my lovely replicator, and painting mini’s – not very thrilling.
It has bothered me so much, I spent the entire day making busy work for myself so I didn’t have to think about it instead of either a) writing something regardless or b) letting it go, considering no one sets my timetable but me.
I literally put this pressure on myself, and thus you’d think I have the ability to turn it off again… but I don’t. I’m very aware that unless I set myself goals I must meet and commit to them mentally, for good and bad, I will never get anything done in my entire life. I gravitate quite naturally to a state of pure laziness when allowed, but part of me finds that unacceptable. A summer nap is all well and good, but oversleeping is no good for you, you see.
So there’s my update on myself for the week: I have been doing my usual song and dance of yelling at myself for not doing things only I demanded be done, and which will not stop the sun from rising tomorrow or anything else bad to happen.
But that’s not the important bit of today’s post.
I was blessed this year to make new friends when attending the wedding of my longtime buddy in the UK. It was a great day, and everyone involved was pretty awesome, but it’s amazing what you can find out about people in such a short amount of time.
Some people had incredible stories of their own youth to tell. Some people had exciting times coming up for themselves in the immediate future. Some talked about writing they had done, or plans they wanted to see come to fruition.
One of these new friends, who also blogs, had plans to do something that is scary to him. Something he is currently doing this week, after gearing himself up to do it for some time.
And I think that is the best thing.
Watching a friend handle something that scares them, and be successful with it, is very inspiring. For one thing, it is a positive use of personal pressure, and I really hope said friend is aware of how proud he should be to use his feelings so positively.
It’s also great to see how people handle their pressures in the hope of improving my own methods of dealing with similar.
Right now, my husband just got news back from his workplace on the first set of anticipated changes to our lives, and in a month or so we will know where these changes are going to move us before the years’ end.
Frankly, the upcoming change is scaring me, and I’m already feeling the pressure of everything I will need to get done when we move.
I will have to make peace with leaving a home I have come to love.
I will have to accept leaving friends and familiar locales behind, to move across the country.
I will have to clean the house to the standard I would want to find it in.
I will have to pack my life back into boxes, again, which is something I loathe and despise with all my being after my journey to be where I am now.
It’s a scary time, pressing down on me, and definitely affecting my creativity. But maybe, just maybe, I can get by with a little help from my friends, and not have a total meltdown when it happens.